cpgs-official:

whimsical-gay:

interview with the vampire but the interviewer is eric andre

  • The entire time there’s an extremely weak UV spotlight pointed toward the vampire–not enough to cause serious harm, but enough to make him visibly uncomfortable
  • Eric Andre spends the a good portion of the interview whittling things that almost look like stakes and then turn into something else
  • The “stunning realism and quality” of Lost Boys: The Tribe is brought up more than once
  • At one point Eric Andre asks if the vampire in question is “one of those Bram Stoker-types”. He’s not, but before he can answer or get clarification the fire sprinklers above his chair all turn on with the most flow possible
  • Because the vampire’s chair is thoroughly soaked, they bring him a replacement. It’s made of ash wood
  • Hannibal Buress is standing directly behind him for the duration of the interview, eating garlic bread. He offers some to the vampire. Several times

yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: Our warlock has become king of Gnolls and was given the ability to summon a small army of 10 Gnolls once a session if they roll a nat 20. The Party was fighting a group of assassins.=

Warlock: Oh I just remembered I can summon an army. Should I try?

Monk and Blood Hunter: YES!!?

DM: Make a nat 20 attempt

Warlock: NATCH-URAL 20 BOOOOOYS

DM: Shit…. ok so almost out of nowhere a group of Gnolls breaks in through the windows, they fall out of the roof, and even climb out of the floor and pose like the Ginyu Force around their king.

Warlock: Get fucked my dudes!