followthebluebell:

tokays:

Do Home Depot employees ever wonder what the customers’ projects are? More specifically, do they wonder about mine?

One of my brothers works at Home Depot and the other works at Ace.  I can confirm that they DO wonder.

“So this customer just… went in and bought every single tube of silicone we had.  It wasn’t many, to be fair, but then they also bought a bunch of dirt.  They were really fussy about the TYPE of soil too.”

“They’re a reptile keeper and they’re making a new vivarium.  I can guarantee it.  Ask them what species they keep next time.  I want to know.”

(a few weeks later)

“They keep crested geckos.”

camelpimp:

I think the true measure of a person’s character is this: in a game with a character creater, do you:

A) just use the default

B) recreate yourself

C) recreate a popular character

D) make your oc

E) just make whatever looks the coolest/prettiest

F) monster factory that shit

oppa-homeless-style:

oppa-homeless-style:

man i had a dream that magic was discovered in the near future

but it was like. shitty unbalanced fantasy magic. like within a few weeks people had wikis and guides up on how to glitch in immortality potions and time spells. people are just tossing homemade black holes around. i looked on the news and saw some speedrunner made it to the edge of the universe

first of all how dare you assume im literate